thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
