I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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