im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
