3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
