I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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