Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
