This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize