i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
