Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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