Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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