You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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