I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
