lets start a swedish sibling band together
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
