tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
