is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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