Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
