I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
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