it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
