these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
