if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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