he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
