he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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