I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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