Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
