why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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