Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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