I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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