Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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