he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
