So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize