So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
