They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
