And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Come on in and take your pants off
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