you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
