CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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