ugly people sure do ruin things
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize