ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
