Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
