Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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