What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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