Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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