She is in my trunk
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
