me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
