My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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