on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
