So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
