the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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