This girl is more easily done than said...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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