love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Is it because I queefed?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
