So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
