Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
