so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
