its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
