we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
