No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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