a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
