It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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