my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you inspire me to be a worse person
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
