honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
