I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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